On Patience

I  have never been a patient person. I've always been old beyond my years, and constantly looking forward to the next big thing. When I was in grade school, I couldn't wait for high school. When I was in high school, I couldn't wait for college. In college, I couldn't wait to graduate, move out, get married and have babies. Well, I graduated, moved multiple times (to a different state, even!), got a "career", and got married. You would think I would be satisfied to relax and just enjoy the 10 months we've been married, right? Wrong. The past 10 months I've vacillated between wanting to buy a house and wanting to get pregnant and wanting to get a new "career" and wanting to move to a less expensive state.

I don't know why my brain doesn't think what I have is good enough!! I suppose it doesn't help that a lot of people are putting pressure on for the babies to start coming. I keep using the excuse that we only have a one bedroom condo (that we absolutely can't afford to sell right now), which gets my brain started on the never ending rotation of "How could we make this work?". Then I realize it won't exactly be easy to have what I want, so I move on to something else. This "something else" is the thought that if we can't sell this place, at least I can make it more enjoyable to live in. And then I end up pricing out crown molding, kitchen back splashes and floating shelves. Oh, and chandeliers that plug in so I don't have to hire an electrician for the dining room.

Hello, internet. My name is Jolene, and I'm crazy.